Pushing Back the Ocean

Once, on a late December morning, I decided to stroll along Nauset Beach, one of the most breathtaking to be found on Cape Cod. The late year wind was cold, but refreshing. As I walked along the shoreline I occasionally glanced over my shoulder to spy my solitary footprints in the sand. I was conscious of the fact that at the time I wasn’t sure if the tide was coming in or going out. I was walking without purpose at first, just trying to clear the fog in my head.

I had noticed that there was an object away in the distance ahead of me, and I recall closing my coat tighter around my neck and thinking to myself, “Well, I’m not going to walk that far.” I then thought of the footprints behind me and imagined the waves washing them away. That made me consider, like many have before when leaving footprints, how temporary our time is, and how we should relish each step in our journey.

Soon that object in the distance appeared much closer and I thought, “Yeah, let’s go for it.” I picked up my pace, then, almost immediately found myself sprinting toward it. It turns out it was only a large piece of uneventful driftwood, but as I circled it I stumbled across my earlier single set of footprints now trailing toward me. Looking down the long stretch of beach I could tell that at first they meandered gently, then straightened and dug deeper into the sand at the point I decide to investigate the washed up wood. It was I then realized that the tide was indeed going out and my steps would be preserved a few hours more. I decided to use them as a path to return to the parking lot where my outing had begun. It didn’t take long before I noticed that I wasn’t matching my footprints step for step. At first I weaved back and forth over my original route, but ultimately my new steps were coursing closer to the water’s edge. Yes, the tide was receding, but the tracks I left made it appear as if I were pushing the ocean back. This was a very interesting experience for me, analogous to the pursuit of goals and life itself.

The mark we leave on the earth is indeed temporary, but it may be longer lasting then we think. It is fine to meander through the day without purpose if you like, but when you pick a goal that you can see, you can’t help but race for it. Once you reach your destination, make the time to reflect, to see how far you’ve come. Although you may want to retrace your steps, you won’t be able to match them exactly because the conditions have changed, as new goals present themselves. And you will find yourself, if only fleetingly, pushing back the ocean. What a beautiful experience and with contemplation, a wonderful gift from God!

On Sincerity

Practice what you preach. Act with integrity. These phrases are thrown about frequently along with words like genuine, credible, authentic, sincere.

In the days of the Roman Empire potters and sculptors would fill cracks or imperfections in their work with wax, then glaze it over before selling them at market. When I first heard this, I imagined these beautiful pieces eventually weeping during the heat of the day, the wax melting under the sun, God’s spotlight. When a piece of work was flawless, or the craftsman one of high integrity, a seal was placed on it that read, “sine cere”, a Latin term meaning, “without wax.” These were obviously the most desirable pieces and held up under the toughest of scrutiny.

How often do people today live with sincerity, without wax? It’s easy to impugn public officials; sadly many have not performed well under the spotlight. However, looking inward, I recognize I too have been lax.

In an effort to improve efficiency with my team at work, I have insisted on certain process steps be followed. Yet as I reflect, in expediency, I myself have failed to follow those steps. At home, I have lamented the children to sit up straight, only to later find myself slouching on the couch, mouth agape, staring into the television. How often have others told their kids to clean their rooms only to find stacks of papers, post-its and books strewn about their own office? And how many have shouted, “Stop yelling, it’s not polite.”

Do as I say, not as I do. That’s practicing hypocrisy, not integrity. Others could easily reply, “I can’t hear what you’re saying, your actions speak so loudly.”

Some seem to live by what Jack Canfield calls the 18/40/60 Rule. At eighteen, you think everyone is looking at you. At forty, you don’t care who is looking at you. At sixty, you realize, no one was looking at you. There may be truth to that, but if you are a leader, people are looking at you. They are looking at your imperfections, your weaknesses and your ability to handle obstacles.

I believe if you know your mission and your core values and if you live on purpose and if, as Ken Blanchard says, “you are committed to your commitments”, then you are acting with authenticity. There may be flaws or cracks -- resist the urge to fill them with wax. Instead, think like Michelangelo, rather than hiding any blemishes, keep them exposed and work them into the final piece of art, your life and you will have lived with integrity.

Why Subtract, When you can Add?

Long ago, while I was struggling through an early math class, the whole concept of subtraction was frustrating and difficult for me; my mother gave me some guidance. “It use to give me trouble too when I was your age,” she told me. “I hate subtraction, so I don’t ever do it.”

This notion intrigued my young mind. Maybe Mom was going to get me out of math class. Could it be that easy? It wasn’t. “I figured out I just needed to add everything,” she confessed.

I felt duped. Not only wasn’t she getting me out of math class, she was making me do more math. She easily read the concerned and disappointed look on my face. “For example,” she continued, “instead of 7 take away 2, I think, what plus 2 equals 7?”

It was a great little tip, the wisdom of which I have not fully realized until these last few days. First off, what a terrific revelation of my Mother’s character and outlook on life. As a child she realized that she didn’t like subtraction. Instead of bemoaning that fact she searched for what could be added. To this day she explores the power of addition. She may be more tentative as she has aged, she grumbled about the Internet for months, but once we signed her on she mastered it in a couple of days. The innate positive-ness of her philosophy inspires me and it epitomizes the art of possibility. Rather than deleting things from your life, because they are burdensome, or too hard to figure out, consider exploring what you can add to it.

I began to think of this in terms of goal setting. For instance, in subtraction,

7 – 2 = ?

you do not know what your goal is, other than to make the outcome smaller. Yet if you flip the same problem around and look at it with a shifted paradigm that forces you to add, look what we discover.

2 + ? = 7

You now have a clear goal, 7, and a clear starting point, or existing condition, 2.

Just bridge the gap by adding to the existing condition and reaching your destination is assured.

Said another way...

2 (is the starting point, or existing condition) + (is an Attitude of Addition) ? (is the Gap between existing condition and goal) = 7 (the Goal, or destination)

What a beautiful way to view problems in the world! Thanks Mom.

Followers Talk, Leaders Act

It is easy to talk about leadership. It has become a subject of study. Books have been written, seminars conducted, presentations videotaped, and lectures recorded. There are no shortages of quotes on effective leadership. The attributes and skills, demeanor and aptitude tests that define what scholars believe makes a leader lurk around every corner. In contrast, there is an echo chamber of biased and belligerent pundits, regularly showcasing leadership, veiled in an arrogant and sanctimonious self-assuredness. Regardless of how unauthentic, it is leadership.

Talking about leadership has become perpetually in vogue these days. Yet with all this study, pontification and observation there still remains an acute absence of something. Leaders. In their unquenchable desire to find role models and visionaries, most people have neglected looking in the one obvious place. Themselves. Great leaders are quoted and imitated, criticized and followed because it is easier to do so. Real leaders act, and people respond to action, good or bad.

Successful leaders, whether of the PTA, a major account, a large corporation or a country, envision things that do not yet exist. When they think about how to achieve their vision, they become enthusiastic. The ideas consume them and give them a sense of purpose, of motivation, and of passion. True leaders acknowledge this, and relish the adventure.

Believe it or not, you are a leader. Either at home, or at work, on the playing field, or in the town hall, one of the many roles you play in your busy life is that of a leader. The question remains, are you considered an effective leader? It’s an important role to play in at least some areas of your life. So study and read, listen and observe, and make sure you take the time to dream and to plan. Muster up your enthusiasm. Then, above all, commit and act.

Several times each day you are faced with a choice. Will you lead, or will you follow? Make the choice that is right for you. Don’t let it be made for you by others. And if you find you often choose the role as follower, do not complain about the lack of leadership.

Teachings from the Father and Son

I recently attended a seminar where the reflective question was posed, “How do you remind yourself that God is present in your workplace and how does that awareness change the way you work?”

It was an interesting question and I must admit I wasn’t particularly happy with the answer I was coming up with. I didn’t think I reminded myself very often at all. It seemed like it was something I should rectify, but I wasn’t sure how.

When I returned to my office I scoured my desktop for some icon that could act as an unobtrusive religious symbol. My laptop, docking station and monitor took a vast amount or real estate. Stacks of papers to file, act on or route robbed even more. What little shelf space I had was committed to books and business tchochkies. Before long pressing matters tore me away from my search.

While at home my young son continued to pick up and throw rubber balls at me. This was a fun game we had been playing for several days but it suddenly became much more significant. As he ran after me, arm cocked and ready to catapult another ball toward me he gleefully said, “Here Daddy, here.” At that moment I interpreted what he was saying as, “Hear Daddy, hear.”

Instantly I flashed back a few years to a nice family gathering. The occasion was my father’s birthday, (for that matter, my daughter’s too.) He rose to give a little speech, a recollection of what someone had shared with him as a younger man. He said words to the effect,

“In life we find ourselves juggling any number of balls in different sizes. There is career, finances, health, perhaps new business ventures, schooling or needless worrying. All of these things are made of rubber. If one drops because of neglect or a miscalculation, it can bounce back. However, there is one ball that represents family and it is made of crystal. This ball requires the most vigilant attention, because if it should fall due to neglect or miscalculation it will shatter and can not be replaced.”

With moistness in my eyes I gave my son a big hug before he could pelt me with the ball.

On my desk sits a picture of my family. Alongside of it I have placed a rubber ball I tend to throw or squeeze when the day turns tense. The two items work in concert to remind me that God is present and he came to me through my father and my son.