Snakebite and Venom

Two friends are walking along a path when they happen across a rattlesnake. One of the men, pompous and careless, severs the snake with an ax, but not before it bites the foolish man on the wrist. The man wails and flails his arm all about in pain while his companion is immobilized with panic. There is a third man, an experienced hiker several hundred feet away who has witnessed the events. Which one is you and what do you do next?

Perhaps you are the foolish man, filled with bravado who acts violently in the face of latent danger and who is paying the painful price of his folly.

Maybe you are the other man, made powerless with indecision and panic, whirling about uselessly.

Or perhaps you are the experienced hiker, equipped with the knowledge that, although painful, snakebites don’t kill people, it’s their venom. Venom that if not removed, courses through the veins, accelerated by the constant movement and shaking of an ignorant and fearful victim.

This scene is repeated in people’s lives nearly everyday. We’ve all experienced painful situations. We may have antagonized someone who then lashes out at us, or we may have come across trouble unexpectedly and been the victim of a painful blow. Our first inclination is to lash back, to bellow accusations of unfairness and to blame our trespassers. If only we recognized that energy would have been better spent by removing the venom and repairing the damage. How often are we the experienced hiker, witnessing these events yet instead choosing to keep walking rather than help those who are angry, confused or hurting? Even though we have the skills or knowledge that could solve the problem, bring about calmness, alleviate pain, or perhaps even save a life, we decide not to get involved.

Therein sits one of the differences between a leader and a follower. Leaders get involved. They act. They do not shrug their shoulder and sigh, “Oh, well.” They give of themselves, protect people and remove the venom from the veins of others, and teach others to do the same.

When trouble looms before you, what role will you play?

The Modern Haberdasher

I am a rare breed of man who is as comfortable in suits as others are in a well-worn pair of jeans. As a result, I tend to burn through them quicker than most. An unfortunate realization, I generally buy them from stores that have “depot”, “wearhouse”, or “factory” in their names. One day I may evolve to purchasing suits from the array of stores that end in apostrophe “s”, but for now, I’m still a bit of a skinflint.

My wife went to one of our neighborhood haberdashers and had four suits held aside for me to peruse later. That evening, the two of us returned to the store where I was greeted by one of the clerks who asked if I needed any help. Out of habit I immediately dismissed him. My wife stepped forward to tell him we had several suits on hold. He fetched them and we met near the dressing rooms. I tried on each of the suits, subjecting myself to the three-way mirror while my wife editorialized about cut and color. We whittled the selection down to two. Throughout this the sales person hung back quietly. I voiced some concern over the particular cut of one of the jackets when he finally chimed in with some nonsense about it being very popular now because all the newscasters are wearing them. The extent of his influence on my buying decision was infinitesimal.

As the cashier rung up the final choices I noticed three of the sales staff coagulating near one of the bargain racks, eerily reminiscent of a used car lot. From across the store another sales associates, probably a supervisor, called out, “No clumping. Remember the meeting. Circulate. Circulate.” They quickly scattered with laughter. The gentleman who had “helped” me earlier walked passed the supervisor with a smile and remarked, “Of all the places I’ve worked over the years, this is the only place I’ve been that the sales people actually work.” Pathetic. What sales “work” actually occurred? It was nothing more than demand fulfillment. Now, I may be guilty of turning suits into a commodity. My buying criteria tend to be price and overall look and feel. Still, how successful was the sale? I had four suits in my hand but only left with two. How could this have been a more effective experience for the store?

At another establishment, where price is commensurate with value, they also value team. The sales person measures me, asks what I’m looking for, gushes over how wonderful I look and what a smart choice I’ve made. He then introduces me to a charming sales associate who suggests a new shirt that can make the interwoven threads of the suit “pop”. She’s right, of course. And what’s the point of a new shirt without a new tie? She offers two, taking the guesswork out of it. Can’t decide? Buy them both and bring one back later. (Like that would ever happen.) What about cuff links, or brass stays to keep those bothersome collars from winging up? In this establishment I am cared for as an intelligent and powerful man, capable of making scores of decisions. Repeatedly validated through the sale. Do I value that? Yes, who wouldn’t? Yet the money I spend on that value-added white glove treatment never fails to make me feel a little worked. Is it all worth the price of an additional suit? Not to me. This is still old school, because value-add is generally for the benefit of the seller. There’s not much sales work to be done. It’s like an ineffective real estate agent taking a grown man and woman through a house and proudly beaming, “and this is the kitchen.” No kidding, a five-year-old child could figure that out.

Business development is about demand creation. How could a suit sales person be an effective business developer? They would canvas a particular geography, or demographic. Study what is being worn. Know the industry well enough to accurately tell someone his or her size and complementary color scheme. Know the customers preference of form or function. Then address the target market with custom tailoring. Perhaps offering cuffing and minor repairs on-site or within an hour. They would know if prospective customers needed suits or casual sports coats. They would know when their clients needed to look especially sharp and respond accordingly.

The sales profession is often maligned. Unfortunately, as is the case with the practice of law, faulty practitioners create the perception. Mediocrity disguised as effort. The professional who makes the time to know their client, to truly care about their well being and success, who feels the compulsion to serve, rather than an attitude that they deserve, will far exceed the results of those who still think shepherding customers to their already researched and decide conclusion is hard work.

Seven Simple Truths

I recently uncovered some notes I took on a cross-country flight eight years ago. Reviewing them after such an absence adds credence to my belief that they were not just the scribbling of a jetlagged pundit, jotting down the latest vogue notions. As I recall, my journal became the captive audience where I was able to assemble a collection of “ah ha’s” that had finally resonated with me. When I consider the numerous life events that have occurred, personally and globally in that period of time, it provides me with reassuring solace that these Seven Simple Truths are straightforward, spot on and should be reviewed with greater frequency than I have done.

Seven Simple Truths

One, it is better to be good. I don’t mean pious, but I do mean knowing ethical behavior and common sense manners. Knowing you’re values and acting in accordance to them.

Two, cause and effect works in every event whether we choose to believe it or not. Everything happens for a reason and the reason is a reaction to what has already occurred.

Three, we all need to give more. We need to give more of our time, our energy our thoughts, our ideas, our talents, ourselves -- more of everything imaginable. We must give; this includes our love as well. We should remember that gifts of any sort are tokens of affection or appreciation. Indeed, appreciation begets affection. Therefore if we do not feel genuine appreciation or affection that will be reflected in the gift.

Four, anything is possible. Everything that exists today that was created by man was once a foolish idea that people thought would never work. The truth of the matter is everything is possible. Every problem is solvable. Every epidemic is curable and every thirst quenchable. We have the power and the ability to abolish poverty, to end starvation, to resolve conflict without bloodshed. With patience, perseverance and focused thinking we can accomplish any goal. It may not be easy, but it can be done.

Five, the body and mind must be exercised. The body must guard our mind and our mind must inspire our body. While in this form they rely on each other. Once they begin to separate our time left in this form hastens to become less important.

Six, being happy is better than being sad. However, both are emotions, and emotions are not right or wrong. They just are. They are the by-products of an action. Therefore it is better to do things that make you positive and upbeat. Always smile, laugh and inquire like a child. We are given so much – it is the ignorant that attempt to take it away with slack faces, sour attitude and doomsayer clichés.

Seven, know what you want. It is simply that easy. Just knowing what it is you want to accomplish sends you well on your way ahead of the indecisive pack.

Think more. Do more. Give more. See more. Be more. Laugh more. And know that anything is possible.

Pushing Back the Ocean

Once, on a late December morning, I decided to stroll along Nauset Beach, one of the most breathtaking to be found on Cape Cod. The late year wind was cold, but refreshing. As I walked along the shoreline I occasionally glanced over my shoulder to spy my solitary footprints in the sand. I was conscious of the fact that at the time I wasn’t sure if the tide was coming in or going out. I was walking without purpose at first, just trying to clear the fog in my head.

I had noticed that there was an object away in the distance ahead of me, and I recall closing my coat tighter around my neck and thinking to myself, “Well, I’m not going to walk that far.” I then thought of the footprints behind me and imagined the waves washing them away. That made me consider, like many have before when leaving footprints, how temporary our time is, and how we should relish each step in our journey.

Soon that object in the distance appeared much closer and I thought, “Yeah, let’s go for it.” I picked up my pace, then, almost immediately found myself sprinting toward it. It turns out it was only a large piece of uneventful driftwood, but as I circled it I stumbled across my earlier single set of footprints now trailing toward me. Looking down the long stretch of beach I could tell that at first they meandered gently, then straightened and dug deeper into the sand at the point I decide to investigate the washed up wood. It was I then realized that the tide was indeed going out and my steps would be preserved a few hours more. I decided to use them as a path to return to the parking lot where my outing had begun. It didn’t take long before I noticed that I wasn’t matching my footprints step for step. At first I weaved back and forth over my original route, but ultimately my new steps were coursing closer to the water’s edge. Yes, the tide was receding, but the tracks I left made it appear as if I were pushing the ocean back. This was a very interesting experience for me, analogous to the pursuit of goals and life itself.

The mark we leave on the earth is indeed temporary, but it may be longer lasting then we think. It is fine to meander through the day without purpose if you like, but when you pick a goal that you can see, you can’t help but race for it. Once you reach your destination, make the time to reflect, to see how far you’ve come. Although you may want to retrace your steps, you won’t be able to match them exactly because the conditions have changed, as new goals present themselves. And you will find yourself, if only fleetingly, pushing back the ocean. What a beautiful experience and with contemplation, a wonderful gift from God!

On Sincerity

Practice what you preach. Act with integrity. These phrases are thrown about frequently along with words like genuine, credible, authentic, sincere.

In the days of the Roman Empire potters and sculptors would fill cracks or imperfections in their work with wax, then glaze it over before selling them at market. When I first heard this, I imagined these beautiful pieces eventually weeping during the heat of the day, the wax melting under the sun, God’s spotlight. When a piece of work was flawless, or the craftsman one of high integrity, a seal was placed on it that read, “sine cere”, a Latin term meaning, “without wax.” These were obviously the most desirable pieces and held up under the toughest of scrutiny.

How often do people today live with sincerity, without wax? It’s easy to impugn public officials; sadly many have not performed well under the spotlight. However, looking inward, I recognize I too have been lax.

In an effort to improve efficiency with my team at work, I have insisted on certain process steps be followed. Yet as I reflect, in expediency, I myself have failed to follow those steps. At home, I have lamented the children to sit up straight, only to later find myself slouching on the couch, mouth agape, staring into the television. How often have others told their kids to clean their rooms only to find stacks of papers, post-its and books strewn about their own office? And how many have shouted, “Stop yelling, it’s not polite.”

Do as I say, not as I do. That’s practicing hypocrisy, not integrity. Others could easily reply, “I can’t hear what you’re saying, your actions speak so loudly.”

Some seem to live by what Jack Canfield calls the 18/40/60 Rule. At eighteen, you think everyone is looking at you. At forty, you don’t care who is looking at you. At sixty, you realize, no one was looking at you. There may be truth to that, but if you are a leader, people are looking at you. They are looking at your imperfections, your weaknesses and your ability to handle obstacles.

I believe if you know your mission and your core values and if you live on purpose and if, as Ken Blanchard says, “you are committed to your commitments”, then you are acting with authenticity. There may be flaws or cracks -- resist the urge to fill them with wax. Instead, think like Michelangelo, rather than hiding any blemishes, keep them exposed and work them into the final piece of art, your life and you will have lived with integrity.